Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
