Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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