dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
