He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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