This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
