apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
