when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
