Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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