"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize