her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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