To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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