i may or may not be watching the land before time
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
