My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's always time for handjobs
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
