He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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