Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
