So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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