We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
do nipples grow back?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
