you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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