my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
