I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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