I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
