i permit you to call me
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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