Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
