that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
