Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
