Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
