I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
