we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
