Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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