I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
