he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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