New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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