yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
