I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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