how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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