a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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