your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize