He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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