yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
