You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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