so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize