hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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