watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
