I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ruined the universe
Randomize
