I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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