I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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