after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
