So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
