I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
is it fun? or sober?
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