I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
