i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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