You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
