We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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