Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
