This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
