My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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