Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize