It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i need some magic done to my vagina
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
