So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
