I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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