so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
