I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
