I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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