We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Of course I have a pirate flag
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
