I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
