So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
