I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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