found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
