yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
