While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
